To Be The Dad
Just back from visiting my son who is studying abroad in Spain. Let me tell you about sons. When they are little there are glimpses of the men they are going to be; the four year old reaches out to help his friend with the highest block of a tower they are building. On his seventh birthday he picks the nice but nerdy kid in his second grade class to go on cupcake rounds at school. In middle school when he doesn’t make the baseball team he calmly tells you not to run the coach over with your car because, in fact, the coach was right; he isn’t yet good enough to make the team. “Maybe next year,” he says, “when I am a little bigger and stronger.” Then one day he is suddenly captain of the high school tennis team and the recipient of awards for sportsmanship and these are tangible confirmations that you have raised a gentleman and a son who fills you with pride.
But nothing compares with having your son guide you through a foreign country speaking this foreign language not just fluently, but with native inflection. Nothing compares with hearing him hold court on the country’s history, culture and political state. As his girlfriend says to him during her visit, “It’s like you’re the dad.” All of the mothers who read this will understand that there is no greater compliment. After all, what are our hopes for our sons and what kind of men are we raising them up to be? Successful, happy, confident? Absolutely. We are raising them to manage their own lives and live with integrity and also to be productive and reasonable. Ultimately, whether or not they even marry or have children, we are raising them to be the dad.