Sing less, be more
I suppose the best thing about starting a blog is that it involves two of my favorite things, writing and talking about myself. Why didn’t I think of this earlier? I could have worked out all sorts of self-esteem, parenting and fashion issues. Now if the computer would only spit out a few M&M’s every five minutes or so…I’d never get up.
Last week there was an article in the NY Times about a singing coach who tries to get her students to be less controlled in their singing; to sing less and be more. “You’re enough,” she says, encouraging them to put themselves into their songs, ‘selves’ are the operative word. Finally, she imparts this secret: what we think is the scariest place is actually the safest. How true is this? Every time I try to pretend I’m something other than myself it is never as satisfying as being celebrated for who I am. When it comes to my writing, it’s when I’m at the scary place that I’m writing true and raw because I’m discovering my characters from the inside out. A surefire way to end up with flat, uninteresting characters who will always disappoint is to write superficially, with a kind of cumulative hearsay. I know, I’ve tried it, only to revisit what I’ve written and grimace at the inauthentic and boring sum.
Have you ever known someone who designs or manufactures clothing? (Growing up in NY we called them ‘garmentos’ because they worked in the garment center) Ever see how they can’t help themselves when it comes to feeling fabric? They don’t care if it’s on you, they have to reach out and touch your sweater or slacks then manipulate the material between their thumb and first few fingers. That’s how good writers are with their characters and that’s how I want to know mine; I need to see what they’re made of, how they crumple or bend and how they feel against my skin. Maybe we should all try to know ourselves that well, and affirm that even with our flaws (our ‘irregular’ lines and faded dye lots) we are enough.
Here at least, in this space, I pledge to be myself and not only my best self. As the coach says, less singing, more being. What a novel idea, no pun. Imagine if all of us did a little less posturing and a little more being? How shocking it would be to find out that when you take an emotional or creative risk you never lose.